Utterly Useless Knowledge

In honor of my birthday today, here's some gastronomic eye candy for you to peruse. Better close your office door, though.....possibly NSFW for some of you. Just some random stuff from the backyard over the past year that didn't make it to the blog in any other form. Oh, and a pic of my first attempt at authentic championship Texas chili (no beans!). Welcome back to the blog. You've been missed.

"SPAM? Are you freaking kidding me, Dixon? I'd rather suck quarters out of an old man's ass!" * Yeah, I hear ya. Well, you're wrong, my friends. Consider this your permission slip to not only purchase a can (or four) of the tasty, beautifully pressed loaf of hog parts unknown, but delight in the consumption of it, MSG and God-know's-what else, be damned. I re-discovered this American delicacy on a pilgrimage to the SPAM Museum in Austin, MN back in 2003. My college roommate Mickey & I were returning to Des Moines from attending a wedding in Wisconsin, and saw the signs as we made our way west down Interstate 90 in southeast Minnesota. We determined instantly that this was a must-see. From then on, I vowed that I would never again frown upon the regular (yet in moderation, of course) consumption of this feigned food. It was a typical weeknight, with no real plan in place for a quick dinner. A scan of the cupboards can usually yield some sort of "Iron ...

Country-style ribs are a meaty treat, and were a staple in our house growing up. My definition of barbecue was anything that had barbecue sauce on it. These were made in the crock pot, all day, by my mother. With a side of Velveeta Shells & Cheese, you had one of my all-time favorites growing up. But I've graduated now from BBQ School, and I know that a Crock Pot has no place in the BBQ vernacular. Here's my breakdown of how things went on my first try at smoking country-style ribs. Cut fron the sirloin, or rib end of a pork loin, country-style ribs are big and meaty. They could almost be confused to look like a sliced pork shoulder/butt roast. Since this was my first try at smoking this cut, I was a little nervous about just how long these would take, and if I'd dry them out. I was banking on at least 4 hours of cooking time at 225 degrees. After that, I was guessing. The fiasco of the day was preparing the dry rub. I had been sitting on some rub and spice packets fro...

In consultation with fellow barbecue enthusiast and aficionado Martin, it was settled that our destination for this particular Kansas City trip would actually be in Belton, MO, just south of the metroplex, to a family-owned establishment since the early 60's, Snead's BBQ . We wanted to try a place that neither of us have been, knowing that our favorites will still always be there for us. Snead's uses nothing but hickory for their fire & smoke, and what immediately got our attention was the fact that they use absolutely no seasoning or rub or any kind on their meat. It's completely naked when served, with two kinds of homemade recipe sauces on the side to try. The brisket was excellent, as was the pork shoulder (shaved, not pulled, an interesting touch). The ribs were gigantic and meaty, but were lacking in flavor due in part to no seasoning, but still tasty & smoky. Deciding that a 3-meat platter would not suffice, Martin & I decided to also split a "sm...

There's usually 1 or 2 college football Saturday's where I'll decide to veg out all day and watch non-stop college football. Easily one of my most enjoyable days to spend a fall weekend. Yesterday was a classic day where the coffee is poured about 8 AM (not too early for a bloody or a beer, but coffee seemed more justifiable that early in my house), the t.v. is turned on to some pre-game stuff (in this case it was finishing watching the unreal ending of the Kansas-South Florida game from Friday night), and I settle in for the all-day marathon. Games watched/suffered through included: Iowa-Iowa St. (absolutely brutal to watch. Why Tim accepted a bet with Thad getting only 7 points instead of 14, I have no idea. It's your own fault, dude.) Missouri-Nevada (Mizzou is like watching a video game with the opponent skill level set to "novice") Cal-Maryland Oregon-Purdue Meeechigan-Notre Dame Georgia-South Carolina Georgia Tech-Virginia Tech New Mexico St.-Nebraska Oh...

This past weekend was the 2nd annual installment of the retreat to Lake Panorama, hosted by the Flaherty's. The usual suspects were in attendance: Bargie, Yoshi, the Mickey's, the Flaherty's, and us. Two things have become obvious about the lake weekends: 1. We shouldn't bring the Simpson College Yearbooks and play the game, "Who Would You Get With". Lesson finally learned, I think. 2. We make entirely too much food. This year we even scaled back, after cooking enough barbecue last year to nourish a small, impoverished nation. Still, on Friday night: 48 egg rolls for 6 people. You do the math. (Pass the salt & pepper, Yosh) Regardless, the cuisine portion of the lake weekend is always my favorite. I think it's because I love to cook, and I love to cook for a crowd even more (Thanks, Ida!). Granted, it's not the most inexpensive idea in the world, but it's always satisfying for me to do that, maybe even to a fault. I've been known to go into...

F rom talking to a bunch of people, there seems to be this "love it or hate it" thing going on with eating lamb. I think it comes from our days being brought up on relatively bland cuts of chicken and pork. Face it...Momma only had so many ways to dress up chiken & pork. I can't say when I've really had lamb meat before and remembered it. I certainly haven't had a personal "Tequila moment" where I could never even look at it again. Apparently, some have. I threw out the idea of smoking some lamb to my mom for Memorial Day back home. After about 7 seconds of silence on the other end of the phone line, Ida says, "I'll get some hamburger." Now I don't count gyro meat as true lamb meat (you know those ginormous molded hunks of God-know's-what rotating on spits....Like this little guy here in NYC>>>). It's good eats, I know. I just know it's got a little of everything in it, with the occasional scrap of lamb tosse...

This weekend I'm working on what I'll call the Lamb Experiment on the smoker, but about a month ago I had one of my proudest moments in home cuisine. We had made brisket for the weekend, but it wasn't the right cut for good barbecue. The only cut they had at this particular grocery store was suited more for corned beef, I'd say. No fat layer, small, just not right. Nevertehless, I made it, and it was pretty average. So on the drive home from work on a Monday, I was thinking about what to do for dinner. Leftover beef brisket. Okay.....now what? And then it hit me. Cooked entirely on the Traeger smoker/grill, the pizza tasted just as good as it looked. No recipe, just an idea. A good one, if I may say so.